Linda Eve Diamond

In a one-room apartment,
My true love gave to me
Swarms of birds and people
And a whole pear tree!

The partridge alone
Would have been enough
Or a little stocking stuff,
But pregnant geese?
French hens and turtle doves
And more calling birds?
Another four noisy birds!

My sweetheart calls this love?
Swans are swimming in my tub!

And then there were those leaping men.
I don’t care what they’re lords of—
They stomped right on the turtle doves!

And don’t even get me started
On the eight maids a-milking.

The twelve drummers drumming
And eleven pipers piping
Drove me mad at all hours!
Some people send flowers.

Worse, now they’re crashed out
In heaps around the couch
On the milk-stained carpet
With the maids.

I’m standing in the only corner left,
Of energy and sleep bereft. 
Everything’s covered in crap.
This Christmas traumatized my cat!

Oh what I wouldn’t give to be
On a long return line at Macy’s
With an ugly sweater or hat
And my sanity intact.

 

©2013 Linda Eve Diamond, The Beauty of Listening